What Does the Bible Say About Boundaries?

Overview

Everyone talks about boundaries: podcasts, counselors, books, friends over coffee. But in church, we can get quiet about it. Does the Bible actually say anything? Lead Pastor Brad Kirby and Andre Samson show that it does. The word itself usually describes borders between nations, but the principle runs all through Scripture, from guarding your heart to Jesus moving on from the crowds to keep His Father's priorities. Then Andre asks the honest follow-up: how do you know a boundary is biblical and not just selfish? Brad's answer is a better question to ask before every yes and no. So what's driving yours?

Three Takeaways

Boundaries are wise limits, not walls.

When Scripture uses the word, it's usually talking about borders. But the idea is everywhere: a biblical boundary is a wise limit God gives you so you can do what He's called you to do, love Him faithfully, and love other people well. It isn't a prison, and it isn't cold or selfish. Jesus lived this way, stepping away to pray and moving on from crowds when God's priorities called Him elsewhere.

Healthy love knows helping from enabling.

Galatians 6 tells us to bear one another's burdens, then says each will bear his own load. That isn't a contradiction. Some burdens are heavy enough that you should help carry them, and sometimes the right answer is no. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

Let God, not ease, drive your yes and no.

Boundaries can go wrong both ways. Some people say yes to every demand because they think that's what taking up your cross means. Others say no to something God asked of them because it's hard, then call it a boundary. Before you decide, skip "What's easiest?" and ask God, "Will this make me more truthful, reliable, faithful, and obedient to You?"

Scripture in This Episode

Proverbs 4:23

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Mark 1:35-38

And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, "Everyone is looking for you." And he said to them, "Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out."

Galatians 6:2

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:5

For each will have to bear his own load.

Matthew 5:37

Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil.

Luke 9:23

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Talk About It

Where is it hardest for you to say no right now, and what makes it hard?
Think of someone you're helping. How can you tell whether you're carrying a burden with them or enabling them?
Is there something God may be asking of you that you've been calling a boundary? What would obedience look like this week?

Your Next Step

This week, before you give your next yes or no, take it to God first. Ask Him, "Will this make me more faithful and obedient to You?" and let that answer lead.

Take it with you

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