Give yourself space, to be honest with the Lord.

Don’t be surprised by unexpected or big feelings.

Take time to read scripture, pray, and journal.

Fear is a common experience after a tragedy. So how do you respond to fear?

It is right to acknowledge that sin and evil actions cause pain and destruction. Fear reminds us that we are not in control and need to constantly turn to the only One who is. Experiencing or feeling fear is an invitation to slow down and be reminded of what is true. Psalm 77 is a helpful model of this. It starts by expressing fear and disorientation in the face of evil and ends by reminding one another of who God is. So when our kids or we feel fearful:

We share those fears with one another.

We remind each other of the trustworthy character of God.

We remind one another that God has addressed sin through the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.

We go to God in prayer to acknowledge our fears and feelings and to help us remember what is true.

Read Psalm 77

What is Lament?

A lament is a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. Lamenting is not a failure of faith but an act of faith. We share our pain with God, knowing that He hears us and cares deeply about our pain. A lament is an act of trust. Lament can be personal or corporate.

Praying through lament.

Use Lamentations Chapter 3 as a guide.

Lament the brokenness. Be honest about the things that hurt (verses 1-20)

List the names that you know personally who are hurting.

Tell God about the marriages that are struggling, families dealing with illness, relationships defined by conflict, kids who leave the faith, injustices you see in your community and world

Confess to God the places where you personally struggle with the evil and hurt in the world and in your own life.

Lament to God places where our community at large is experiencing the evil of sin, brokenness, and injustices.

Praise God for His character (verses 21-33)

Read aloud scriptures that describe His character. verses 32-66

Praise God for who He is.

Intercede on their behalf (verses 32-66)

Pray for God to act on behalf of the hurting. Pray for God to act on behalf of those experiencing injustice. Pray for healing in relationships and marriages. Pray for those far from Christ to experience salvation and freedom from the brokenness of sin. Pray for healing for those who are sick, physically and spiritually.

Social Media: How do I guard my heart and mind?

During these situations, it is easy to get on social media to answer our questions about why or to observe what happened. However, it is good to remember that Philippians 4:8 calls us to meditate on the good and praiseworthy things. For that reason, we would encourage limiting social media around this shooting. This will help guard against seeing disturbing images that no one should see and against running into the fear that is so easy for people to do.

These types of violent actions are hard to comprehend, let alone understand. Yet, amid the pain and confusion, your children are looking for answers. The following are ways to think through what has occurred and how to connect with your kids. If you talk about this and take time as a family to be brokenhearted and pray, you are doing exactly what you need to do and what Romans 12:9-15 instructs us to do.

Most often, your kids need the same thing you do.

Make space for big feelings.

Go slow.

Offer lots of patience & time to listen.

Offer comfort & hugs.

Offer space to be sad & cry.

Allow them to ask questions instead of assuming what they are feeling.

Repetition is your friend.

Stop to acknowledge or name the big feeling.

Remind each other of God’s character and God’s Word.

Don’t be afraid to repeat this process as new feelings surface or new questions arise.

Don’t be surprised.

Don’t be surprised by big feelings, sometimes disproportionate to the immediate circumstance.

Don’t be surprised if they don’t know what they are feeling.

Don’t be surprised if they need to bounce back and forth between playing and big feelings.

Don’t be surprised if the fear or feelings aren’t linear, big today, and better tomorrow.

Scriptures to remember as a family.

Psalm 46:1 – refuge & strength

Isaiah 26:3 – peace

John 16:33 – Jesus has overcome

Romans 8:38-39 – nothing can separate us from God’s love

Podcasts we found helpful: not to be listened to with your children.

Raising Boys & Girls | Episode 101: How to Talk to Your Kids After a School Shooting - a Message of Hope

Raising Boys & Girls | Episode 102: How to Care for Kids that Are Hurting After a School Tragedy

These types of violent acts are hard to comprehend, let alone understand. Yet amid the pain and confusion, your students are looking for answers. We want to come alongside you and give you support and help equip you to have the conversation. The following are ways to think through what has occurred and helpful points in having the conversation. If you talk about this and take time as a family to be brokenhearted and pray, you are doing exactly what you need to do and what Romans 12:9-15 instructs us to do.

Where is God in all of this?

He is not blind or absent from what is happening. Psalm 34:18 shows that God moves toward those who mourn. Mathew 10:29-31 shows that He keeps careful watch over us and cares deeply for us.

Why would God cause this to happen?

This is a difficult question, but it is important to know that He does not cause it. It is our own sinful nature that is the cause of these painful things in the world (Romans 1:28-30). Romans 7:18 shows that this sinful nature dwells in us, and we need someone to rescue us from it. Galatians 5:19 details the sinful desire in us that needs to be redeemed by Christ.

Why doesn’t God stop it?

He does not ignore this evil but will judge righteously what has been done (1 Peter 3:12, Ecclesiastes 12:14). He may seem silent in that He does not split open the sky and reign down his judgment and destroy all evil, but one day He will. 2 Peter 3:9-10 says that God is not slow as others consider Him to be slow. His delay is in fact, his loving kindness that more might repent and come to life in Him. Ultimately, He loves us and died for the sin that causes this hurt and destruction (Romans 5:8).

What is the solution?

We cannot control other people’s actions. There will be time for debates of freedom and legislation, but today is not that day. Romans 12:9-15 calls us to mourn with the families and to pray. Pray that God would redeem the hearts and minds of people and that we would be transformed (2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Corinthians 6:11). While we wait for Christ to return and make all things new, Revelation 21:5, we proclaim the gospel to others that they may be saved and have life in Christ. Jude: 20-23.

1 Peter 1:13 “Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at His coming.”

PRAY | Pray for yourself and for those hurting (Colossians 4:2-6).

Pray for families who have lost loved ones.

Pray for comfort for the hurting.

Pray for the first responders and volunteers serving the community.

Pray that people would run towards God and the hope found in Christ.

Pray the body of Christ would move towards those hurting and comfort them.

Invite over others (neighborings, community, friends, family) and host a time of prayer.

Go with others to pray outside of fire and police departments, the Outlet Mall, or around your school/neighborhood. Ask those you encounter if they would like to be prayed for.

PRESENCE | Show up as a ministry of presence (Job 2:12-13; 2 Corinthians 1:2-5).

Your friends, neighbors, etc., might not be mourning a loss but may be processing fears and anxiety.

Show up in person for the one who is hurting.

Sit with them, mourn with them, and listen to them process.

Ask questions such as: How are you doing processing this? Have you talked with your kids? How are your kids doing?

Resist the urge to say something profound or to solve their feelings, often, the best thing you can say is nothing.

Don’t be afraid to cry with them.

Offer/ask permission to pray for them.

Seek to respect religious and political differences and preferences. Now is not an appropriate time to address these differences.

PROVIDE | Provide for a practical need (Galatians 6:2,9).

Don’t wait for someone to ask. People in crisis don’t often know what they need.

Bake food/treats and make cards, deliver them to your local fire department, police department, or school.

Offer to help your local school during drop-off/pick-up/recess.

Ask your local school how you can support their staff.

Send a note of encouragement to school staff.

Practical needs are more important than you think and go a long way to show you care.

Resources currently being offered by the community:

If you’d like to give, organizations such as Communities Foundation and CUTX are taking donations from the families directly involved.

LifePath Services is offering free counseling to the Collin County community. Call (972)422-5939 or visit lifepathsystems.org

Allen Family Assistance Center will also open starting May 8 at 10 a.m. Support services and crisis assistance will be offered, including mental health services, spiritual care, and potential financial assistance.

POINT TO GOD | Every conversation is an opportunity to draw close to the Lord (Exodus 34:6-7; John 3:16).

If you are talking to someone who is not a Christian, ask permission to pray for them and to share what you believe. This may be a time where the ministry of presence and building trust is enough.

With discernment and prayer, look for opportunities and moments to gently speak into the pain of the crisis.

Point to the character of God throughout scripture: comfort, compassion, gracious, near to the brokenhearted, righteous, just, and will deal with sin.

Point to the character and presence of Christ: He came that we might know Him, He died so He might forever deal with sin, He rose from the dead so we can have confidence and an advocate today and forever.