How to Process a Tragedy
CityBridge Family,
Below, you will find resources for you, your friends, family, and neighbors, as well as your children and students. Our staff is praying for you, and if you need any further help, you can contact pastoralcare@citybridgechurch.org.
Part 1: Shepherding Yourself Through Tragedy
Give Yourself Space
Be honest with the Lord. Don’t be surprised by big or unexpected feelings. Take time to read scripture, pray, and journal. Lament is the biblical act coming to God in prayer, being honest about where you are and holding fast to what is true.
Click here to grow in your understanding and practice of lament.
When Fear Shows Up
Fear is common after tragedy. It reminds you that you are not in control and need to turn to the only One who is. Psalm 77 models this, starting with fear and ending by remembering God’s character.
When you or others feel fearful:
Share those fears with God and each other.
Remind one another of God’s trustworthy character.
Remember that Christ’s life, death, burial, and resurrection addressed sin.
Pray honestly, acknowledging fear while holding to truth.
When Anger Rises
Anger says: “something is not okay and something needs to change.” Ask where it comes from:
Righteous anger: something violates God’s design or goodness.
Unrighteous anger: unmet expectations, self-defined right and wrong, or seeking revenge.
James 1:20 reminds us: “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Being “right” does not make me righteous, nor does it give permission to be unkind, retaliate, or act in malice.
Often, anger masks something deeper:
Fear: it feels safer to be angry than vulnerable.
Grief: anger can deflect pain when we feel weak.
Addressing Righteous Anger
God’s anger flows from His love. It is right to feel angry when you see sin, selfishness, or destruction. You are made in His image, but you are not Him.
That’s why Scripture cautions: “In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26)
Ephesians 4 gives us a path:
Proclaim the truth of Christ and the gospel.
Put off sinful habits and renew your thoughts.
Speak truth.
Be compassionate and kind.
Part 2: Shepherding Others Through Tragedy
Prayer
Pray for yourself and for those hurting (Colossians 4:2–6). Pray for families who have lost loved ones, for comfort for the hurting, and for first responders and volunteers. Ask that people would run toward God and the hope found in Christ, and that the body of Christ would move toward those hurting.
Consider hosting a prayer gathering. Invite neighbors, friends, and family to join you in lifting the community before God.
Presence
Show up as a ministry of presence (Job 2:12–13; 2 Corinthians 1:2–5). Even if people aren’t mourning a loss, they may still be processing fear or anxiety.
Sit with them. Listen. Ask questions like:
How are you processing this?
Have you talked with your kids?
How are your kids doing?
Resist the urge to say something profound or try to fix their feelings. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. Don’t be afraid to cry with them. Offer to pray. Respect differences—this isn’t the time to debate.
Provide
Meet a practical need (Galatians 6:2, 9). Don’t wait to be asked: be an initiator. In a crisis, people often don’t know what they need.
If the crisis is widespread, partner with local organizations.
If it’s local, consider baking food, writing cards, or delivering treats to fire and police departments or schools.
Send encouragement to staff impacted.
If the crisis is school-related, volunteer as a safe adult presence.
Practical care may seem small, but it goes a long way to show you care.
Point to Christ
Every conversation is an opportunity to draw near to the Lord (Exodus 34:6–7; John 3:16; Revelation 21:3–5).
If someone isn’t a Christian, ask permission to pray and gently share the hope you have in Christ.
Point to God’s character: His comfort, compassion, grace, justice, and nearness to the brokenhearted.
Point to the bigger story: God’s good creation, the brokenness of sin, and His redemptive plan through the gospel.
Point to Christ: He came so we might know Him, died to deal with sin, and rose so we can have confidence and an advocate forever.