“ I Told My Wife She Had Canklets” - First Impressions Matter
I liked my wife way before she had any interest in me. To her, I was just a friend — nothing more. But to me, she was constantly on my mind. She was beautiful, kind, loved Jesus, fun to be around, and had this maturity and faith that really separated her from the other girls. I just wanted to be near her all the time. Honestly, it felt like my personal mission to stay in her orbit. Like most guys in that spot, I tried hard to impress her, hoping she'd eventually see me as more than just a friend.
On one of our first dates, I was frantically searching for the perfect compliment—something that would show my genuine interest and hopefully win her over a little. What should I say? Something sweet, maybe a little funny, ideally something that would make her fall madly in love with me on the spot. Easy, right? I was overthinking every angle.
Should I be sincere? Should I crack a joke? Should I compare her eyes to a sunset or her laugh to a symphony?
When there was a brief pause in our conversation, panic took over—and I blurted out the very first things that popped into my head: “You know… you have hairy arms and canklets.” (short for small calf-ankles).
It was like an out-of-body experience. I could hear myself speaking, but I was powerless to stop it. Let’s just say it didn’t land the way I’d hoped. Honestly, it's a miracle I got another date after that—let alone that we ended up married. It was a terrible first impression.
First Impressions Matter
Studies show that it only takes about seven seconds for someone to form a judgment about you upon meeting. First impressions, whether we like it or not, do play a significant role in shaping perceptions. They hold remarkable power—formed within seconds and can shape the tone of a relationship long before a word is spoken. Whether fair or not, people tend to quickly assess others based on appearance, body language, tone of voice, and initial behavior.
I am on day seven of being the new Lead Pastor at CityBridge. I have now had a full Sunday in worship, and a full week in the office with the staff. I have been in countless meetings, lunches, and side conversations. I felt compelled to share my first impressions as the new kid on the block.
CityBridge is clearly FULL of people who are serious about relationships. She is a body of believers who LOVE people, value doing life together. I have already been invited to dinner at more homes that I have time to say yes to. Godly community is more than just words on the wall of values.
Our elders/leaders love the body or believers, and take their role as under-shepherds seriously. I think of Hebrews 13:17 … “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” The CityBridge elders love the church and are laser-focused on loving and leading in a way that honors Jesus.
The CityBridge staff are fun, … really fun. These are my kinds of people. They work hard, love Jesus, their service/leadership is not a chore or just a job, but a God-given privilege to further the gospel, care for the bride of Christ, and honor the Lord.
Real ministry clearly happens at CityBridge. People’s lives have been and are being changed here. I have no doubt that, the longer someone stays connected to the body here, the more they will look like Jesus.
I could sum up all of my first impressions by saying … I SEE JESUS AT CITYBRIDGE.
Why God Called Me Here
I told our staff that my plan for my first weeks and months was to LOOK, LISTEN, and LOVE. I have been in meeting after meeting with various leaders and ministry teams. The goal is to continue to get to know each other and build connection, but also for me to gather clarity on what obstacles, hinderances, issues, what needs attention first. No church is perfect. They are full of imperfect members and imperfect leaders. Never will be until we stand face to face with Jesus. I absolutely know God has called my family to CityBridge; with each meeting I begin to answer the question of “Why did God call me here?”
Praise God with each conversation, I see ways that God can uniquely use me, in this season of life in the church, for growth, unity, balance, improved organization, and communication to the praise of our God. I firmly believe the days ahead are filled the intentional, strategic, transformational ministry to Plano and beyond. I believe God can absolutely use CityBridge in a way that is so powerful and God-sized that even if a human wanted to take credit, no one would believe it.
SO … thank you CityBridge for making a clear fantastic first impression. No “hairy arm” or “canklet” talk. Only good stuff! HA. My intention is to post here several times a week. Occasionally a vlog. This will be a great place to get info and stay connected.
I will see you Sunday and cannot wait to worship Jesus with you.
InHIM,
Pastor Brad Kirby